Saying ‘No’ at work (politely of course) can help reduce Burn-out.

Refusing to take on a greater workload, holding your workplace boundaries and gaining a sense of autonomy can help prevent burnout. Taking back control of your workload often means changing habits and saying ‘no’ to your boss, your co-workers, your partner, your patients or your clients. This is a real challenge for many people impacted by burnout.

When someone asks for your help or to do extra work and you instinctively know you’re already at breaking point we need differing ways to say ‘No’ without burning bridges and without majorly p***ing anyone off. Without a doubt this will be anxiety provoking, so self-care and compassion strategies need to be at hand because in many organisations there is always a surplus of work to do but we have to stop the work funnel filling up in the first place. So, here are our tips on how to say no, nicely BUT firmly:

1. Be unequivocal about it. Don’t say ‘No, I can’t at the moment’ because this runs the risk of being asked again later. So, give a reason,’ I would like to, but I have a report I have to prioritise and is due by tomorrow.

2. Be consistent with your ‘no’ don’t be flaky because people will be used to you saying yes, so they’ll try you a couple of time to try and persuade you. And yes, it’ll annoy them because usually you’re a sure bet, but this is about to change!

3. Don’t actually say no -replace with ‘I’d love to help but it’s just impossible at the moment’.

4. Stay in your Adult ego state and don’t offer excuses, ‘I can’t unfortunately’. And leave it at that, hold your ground.

5. Start with a thank you (that’ll throw them off course!). The truth is bad news is always going to be bad news, but it can be slightly eased when it comes with genuine consideration, if you are turning down a person’s request for help you might want to say something like, “Thanks for thinking of me, but you’re going to have to find someone else, or I won’t be able to attend.”

6. Don’t lie – don’t say you’re doing something else or have somewhere specific to be if that really isn’t the case because you may cause yourself more anxiety if you’re caught not doing the thing you said you would be doing.

7. Offer an alternative person – ‘I don’t have any capacity, have you tried Susan?’ Suggest someone better qualified than you or someone you know is looking for a challenge or more responsibility.

8. Give a little bit – compromise, ‘I’ll help for one hour or I’ll do this shift/overtime just this once or for the last time but I’m not going to for the next 4 weeks’ or if you want to commit to only part of something, try “I can’t do the entire thing, but I can help with a specific part.”

If you are really struggling with saying ‘no’ then practice saying it in private to build your courage.